Attending graduate school with sickle cell disease requires balance
I must prioritize my health so that I have the tools to manage other things in life
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After completing my finals and passing my clinical comprehensive exam last week, I now have the opportunity to reflect on my third year as a clinical psychology doctoral student. I began writing this column at the start of the school year, and looking back at my previous columns, I realized just how little I have shared about how my being in school affects my experiences with sickle cell disease.
I am always charmed by the look on strangers’ faces when I tell them I’m in the midst of a six-year graduate program. It’s a look of admiration, appreciation, and pure horror regarding why I chose to spend my “good years” in school being paid an unlivable wage. When I chose my career path, I knew it wouldn’t be easy for someone like me who is living with sickle thalassemia, but it would be worth it.
In a previous column, I discussed the importance of staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly in order to help manage my sickle cell symptoms. Looking back on the school year, I can confidently say that staying hydrated was the only goal I’ve achieved so far this year. After noticing how little sleep and exercise I was getting at the conclusion of last school year, this is sadly becoming a trend. However, I’m doing my best not to judge myself, as my peers who don’t live with the disease have also experienced difficulties keeping up with exercise and sleep.
Between working 70-hour weeks and worrying about my next assignment that’s due, what my professors will say when I miss another week of school because I’m in the hospital due to a vaso-occlusive crisis or general chronic pain, my finances, my therapy clients, and making time for my partner, family, and friends, I’m honestly impressed with my body’s resilience. It’s not surprising that I’ve been miserable this school year and that I feel like my body despises me. I simply haven’t had the time or the energy to adequately stay on top of what my body needs to avoid a mental health crisis, let alone a pain crisis. But if my recent diagnosis of deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism taught me anything, it’s that I can’t work if I’m not healthy. This experience reminded me that when managing a chronic disease, my health truly does come first.
Some days, the worried thoughts fill my head and I wonder, “If I prioritize my health, will that make me a worse student? A worse therapist? A worse girlfriend, sister, daughter, and friend?” Through work with my own therapist, I’m reminded of the benefits of prioritizing my health while in school. I look forward to sharing more of these lessons with you in a future column.
Perhaps my goal for the summer can be achieving balance, where my physical and mental health come first. By prioritizing my health over school and work, my body will have the tools it needs to properly manage my sickle cell symptoms. In turn, this will allow me to continue the grueling journey of a doctoral program while fulfilling my health goals.
Note: Sickle Cell Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Sickle Cell Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues about sickle cell disease.
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