Managing depression while living with sickle cell disease

Note: This column discusses suicidal ideation. Resources for help are listed at the end of the column.

Growing up, I was a happy-go-lucky child. I was always in a good mood and rarely cried. I believed depression would never find me until sickle cell disease said, “Hold my beer.”

Depression ranks among the most common psychosocial complications for people living with sickle cell. The frequent pain crises, hospitalizations, physical disabilities, and lifelong complications often disrupt dreams and goals, creating feelings of hopelessness in many sickle cell warriors. Unfortunately, in many African communities, people overlook mental health entirely. They dismiss depression as weakness rather than a real illness, so few seek treatment due to stigma or disbelief. This cultural silence makes the struggle even harder.

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The first time I experienced depression, I was a medical student in my early 20s. I developed knee ankylosis, a bone complication that suddenly prevented me from walking normally. I became physically disabled overnight, and my mind could not accept that. I was consistently sad, lost interest in productive activities, and my self-worth and productivity were affected. It was moderate depression, and I used maladaptive coping mechanisms, such as playing games to escape my sad reality.

I finally gathered the courage to tell my physician about my feelings. He informed my parents that I suffered from depression, but they thought he must have made a mistake. After all, I had always been the family’s energetic troublemaker. My coping strategies masked the symptoms so well that no one saw the truth.

The depression started affecting my school performance, and the fear of the consequences snapped me out of it. My strong drive to achieve my academic goals pulled me through. As a pre-clinical student, I lacked the knowledge to diagnose myself or seek help sooner, so the episode dragged on for months. I am grateful that my first depressive episode responded to self-motivation.

The second episode came a decade later when I realized I would need to become an ambulatory wheelchair user permanently. The news broke me. I cried daily for more than two weeks, and no distraction worked this time. Eventually, I sought help from a psychiatrist, and a single session of talk therapy was all I needed to gain acceptance and peace.

The third and most severe episode came recently, spanning late last year into early this year. For the first time, I felt severely depressed. Exhaustion overwhelmed me, and hopelessness consumed me. I begged God to take my life. I lost my appetite, cried almost daily, and found no joy in anything. Sickle cell complications had piled up relentlessly, and I had finally reached my limit.

I knew I was severely depressed and needed urgent help. I reached out to a senior psychiatrist colleague and started therapy again. We discussed medication, but talk therapy worked so well that I didn’t need antidepressants. Gradually, my strength and desire to live returned, and I have been fine since then.

Seeking help

My story carries an important message: Recognize the symptoms of depression early and seek help promptly. My first episode lasted several months because I didn’t yet understand what depression was. The latter ones lasted less than a month, thanks to timely help.

Many people confuse normal sadness with depression. Feeling sad for a few days is normal, while clinical depression usually involves multiple symptoms lasting for two weeks or more. These symptoms may include a sad mood, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, decreased energy, feelings of hopelessness or guilt, appetite changes, sleep problems, difficulty concentrating, poor memory, and feelings of worthlessness.

You don’t need to experience every symptom to seek help. If you notice two or more persistent symptoms, feel an urge to self-harm, or experience suicidal ideation, please reach out to a professional immediately.

Living with sickle cell, or any chronic disease, demands that we intentionally protect our happiness. Do what brings you joy, avoid negativity, and stay close to positive people. If sadness lingers or you notice signs of depression, seek help early. You deserve peace and healing.

If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S. (988, or 988lifeline.org, available 24/7), Samaritans in the U.K. (samaritans.org), or the SURPIN Helpline in Nigeria.

Note: Sickle Cell Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Sickle Cell Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to sickle cell disease.